Standardized Operating Procedure of Purchase

Another Rockin’ Rochester Property! Welcome to the PURR-FECT Fixer Upper (for someone with a strong stomach and no sense of smell). A true handyman special- where dozens of cats recently reigned supreme and left behind a “legacy” that’s … well, unforgettable. This home may have decent bones but right now they are buried under mountains of garbage and enough cat fur to knit a sweater for the entire block. Inside, every step is a surprise- sometimes soft, sometimes crunchy (don’t ask). The floors? Let’s just say they are littered. Walls- a scratch and sniff experience that nobody asked for. The air is seasoned with the pungent blend of Eau de Litter Box and “mystery fridge”. A Hold Harmless Waiver will be required for entry. A Hazmat suit and mask is highly recommended (not kidding). Spray yourself down with RAID- the fleas are a-hopping. A dumpster (or four) will be needed for this CAT-astrophe. Please see list of violations in attachments- city will require you to sign an acknowledgment that you agree to rectify the violations within 60 days of closing. Selling as-is. No guarantee any mechanicals work. Buyer responsible for all closing costs- seller will only provide title. Group showings only. First showing to be on Friday, 9/19. No offers accepted for the first seven days.